What an amazing week it has been! The support we have received for our little family to be has been phenomenal! Our fundraiser at Culver’s was a great success. The love we received that night by the people surrounding us made me feel as if I could do anything!
Sadly, I haven’t always felt this way. After your father and I began the process of adoption we quickly learned that the road that will eventually bring us together can be a long and hard one. For years I have been longing to be a mother. Knowing that I had to journey even farther was very hard for me to bear. I wanted to have you right away, no waiting involved! I didn’t know what to do. I was stuck.
As you grow up, my sweet little one, you will find that in life there are heroes placed on this earth just for you. I know this because several of them have already begun to shine. They have begun to shine for you, for our family. Your father has already told you about two of them, Jacqueline and Tom. I want to tell you about the first of these heroes, the one who gave me the courage and hope to pick myself back up and continue on the road. He is my brother, and your uncle, Taylor.
As I said before, there was a brief period when I thought my dreams were shattered. This was no secret to my family. And oh sweetheart, what a family I have! You are going to be so loved by your grandparents, aunts and uncles! They are extraordinary; every single one of them. In this particular time in my life I was talking with your uncle Taylor about my fears. We knew that in order to adopt your dad and I really had to put ourselves out there. We had to start fundraising. We needed to ask for donations. I was going to have to tell people about the years I struggled with infertility. I was comfortable with none of these options. Eventually the idea of online fundraising came up. I could not bring myself to do this. I didn’t know how to ask for help and wasn’t sure anyone would want to hear our story.
After wrestling with this decision for several days, I felt hopeless. I was emotionally overwhelmed. I wanted to be a mother so badly that I couldn’t imagine there was anymore room in my heart for wishes. I only wanted you.
I was in such a state when my phone rang. It was Taylor. He asked me how I felt about setting up an online fundraising website. I told him exactly how I felt; I did not feel comfortable at all with it. His response knocked me backwards. “Well that’s okay because I just made one for you!”
I wish this website still existed. I would love for you to see it with your own eyes. In the introduction he asked the world to help his sister adopt a baby. He asked the world to help create a family. He told the world that he knew your dad and I would be wonderful parents and that we deserved a shot at it. He told the world that I was beautiful.
Sometimes in life you need someone wonderful to remind you of the things that you already know deep in your heart. Your uncle helped me remember that although my body won’t allow it, I deserve to be a mother. I will be a wonderful mother. My husband will be an amazing father. We will be such a beautiful family!
And I’m not scared to share that with anybody in the world. I can’t wait to give you all of my love!
Now come find me, and give your mommy a big hug and a kiss! No matter how old you are when you read this, your never too old to kiss your mother.